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Viagra, Cialis, Extenze, Enzyte, and the "Progene" Chick! wow. And now "Clandestine personal vibrators"! sounds like a Special Ops weapon to me!
Now I am no prude, certainly not. I am old enough to know about sex and such, I
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The Devinyls "I touch myself" fits nicely, doesn't it? But pardon me for a moment, the Angela Lansbury look-alike in the background adds somewhat of a creepy touch, pardon the pun, or not, doesn't she? Maybe she's the buzzkill so that the censors didn't nix the whole idea altogether. My apologies to her.
Now I suppose, the "in" thing for Christmas for your guy and girl friends is to buy them either male enhancement pills or get your girlfriend or gal friends the Trojan Vibrating Touch! Yep, it you can't get them a prescription for Viagra, at least you can get those men folk something that will supposedly make them feel bigger, longer and with enhanced performance! Now you too can give your lady friend a Trojan Vibrating Touch so she can take it to school, or work or to the movies when she goes so that anytime the need arises and passion flares, well, there ya go!
Steve: "Hey Bob"
Me: "Hey Steve"
Steve: "Since it's Christmas and I know you don't have time to date, I got you a couple of gifts!"
Me: "Really? that's nice"
Steve: "Yeah, I got you a penile suction pump and some male enhancement pills, that should fix you right up!"
Me: "Thanks, but I am not seeing anybody, why would I need them anyway?"
Steve: "Well, they're guaranteed to make you bigger, harder and give you better performance"
Me: "Gee thanks Steve, maybe I can use the male enhancement pills to get me a bigger paycheck and use the pump to clear that stopped up drain and get that crown out I lost down there, that's one stubborn sucker!"
Steve: "You're welcome Bob, you never know, you might run into that "Progene" chick, I hear she's pretty hot!"
And do you feel the need to do some exercise" at work? Try the "Pos-T-Vac"! Just excuse yourself from that all important business meeting and Wham! off to the men's room or locker room in the building and start "hoovering" that sucker. That way when you come back in, all the women in the office will look at you and each other and say "hmmm, do you notice something different about Tom? Did he get his hair cut? or is he wearing a new suit?
NO! he got himself one of those human milking machines and
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Is it me? or is anyone out there just getting fed up with the constant bombardment of breast enhancers, male or "penis" enhancers, extremely clandestine female vibrating finger toys and male milking machines? For the love of God, are men so feminized and brainwashed by the media and marketing companies that they are worried about the size of their Johnsons? are women so insecure anymore that their breasts are smaller in comparison to "Tiffany" or "Brittany" whose breast look like the twin "Graf Zeppelin" and "Hindenburg" docked in Lakehurst, New Jersey fighting under a tarp? It's said when the archeologist's dig up Snottsdale in a 1000 years, all they'll find is breast implants and dental veneers.
Ya know, people need to quit buying into this crap. If a man has a legitimate
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And the constant stream of "male enhancements", "breast enlargers" and now "personal Vibrating touches" on top of "Penile suction machines" is just getting out of hand, no pun intended, well maybe.
Perhaps it's the si
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All I am waiting for now is Trojan to start using my re-cut version (above) of the old "Divinyls" song, "I touch myself" which would probably go good for that particular product. Listen to it again, can't let a good song and theme go to waste now can we?
Think I'll buy a few for some friends for next Christmas...and while I am at it, think I'll send the "Progene" Chick one of those Trojan Vibrating touches and maybe a penis pump enlarger or a Pos-T-Vac in case she lost an earring in her bathroom sink.