Infomercials and other such crap

BILLY MAYS MUST DIE!

Billy Mays must die! It really is that simple. How many times have you tried to spend a couple of hours on the couch, wanting to take a peaceful nap while there is something innane on TV, maybe Bonanza? something on the History Channel? or perhaps any number of speeches and appearances from democrats? So, you are laying there, slowly drifting, the sun is out, you are warm and comfortable, no place to be and then;

Hi! I'M BILLY MAYS! HERE TO SHOW YOU HOW OXICLEAN CAN HELP YOU...

GRRRRRR.....How irritating can that guy be? I mean, what is with these people that they think they are gonna entice you by yelling at you about their product? Maybe it's for all the old people that sit 20 feet away from the TV and don't have their hearing aids on. It's just so irritating to listen to this guy hawk his wares.

For someone that works in TV, I can tell you that it's bad enough that advertisers when they produce their commercials, compress the S*** out of them so that no matter how low your TV volume is, they always sound loud. We dub in quite a number of commercials here at the station and we always set our levels to -0 db (that's 100 percent for all you civilians). Now, what happens is, most TV shows are not compressed, so there is a lot of dynamics, low to high, high to low. Very rarely does a TV show stay at one volume, so when the commercials or "spots" as we call them hit, they sound louder even though according to our VU meter, which is how we monitor volume, they are hitting at -0 db, therefore in proper range.

And one more thing. You know that Christie Brinkley/Chuck Norris spot? the one for total gym? well, there is something wrong with that. If I was the producer, I would have fired somebody if not myself. It goes along fine until it hits the "actual customer", the middle-aged woman in the gym t-shirt and shorts, who says, "I have been using total gym for 1 year and I lost 45 lbs." Hmm. One year to lose 45 lbs? jeez, I have known people to lose 45 lbs in less than 3 months. Maybe she takes her time or something. But that is not the main thing about that spot. If you watch it, you can't help but notice that she has her gym shorts on too tight as you can see, how do I put this politelty, let's say, you can see Ahmeds "camel", wink, wink. It's not something you look for, but being your professional broadcast blogger who executes his assigned broadcast duties flawlessly, I can tell you that "I see things" that most people would never catch. That is only because I have to notice things in order to correct stuff. And when you spend 10-14 hours a day staring at video, you just start seeing things that most people don't. I would have that part of the total gym spot recut with another "actual client" and remove the offending "camel". I am sure she is a nice lady and all, but really, why did they have to put her, dressed as she is, in that spot. It goes along looking all professional until that part and well, then it just loses it.

So, I could go on about a few more. I hate those bowflex spots and the computer tutor. They are just irritating to me. There are a few more that I can't think of at the moment, but I will talk about them later.